Here’s the most recent example in my life. I have been feeling like it’s time for me to leave more of my weekends open. To step away from singing and teaching every weekend at a spiritual center somewhere in the country. After all, I am also very happily & gratefully working with clients at home during the week as well. And I love this work!
I’ve been feeling tired. I have been feeling this way, more and more strongly now, for months. The thing is that my calendar gets booked anywhere from three to six months ahead. When one does the math, they might notice that there seems to be a period of time when “she” will be traveling and performing on some weekends for some time after she decided it would be better if she did not.
I certainly do love singing, speaking and teaching at centers and spiritual events. Calling it work doesn’t even seem quite right. More like one of my greatest passions and joys. Singing about Spirit and transformation to a group of people who are committed to this type of work. It really doesn’t get much better than that, right?
But the saying “too much a of a good thing” comes to mind here. I remember an old song, ‘Too Much Fun.’ There does come a time when the body and being needs more rejuvenation than can be gotten at the pace I’ve been going. That time has come.
I’ve felt this before and stayed with the pace until I totally burned out and had to take YEARS off to heal my adrenals and get back to 100%. Not this time. Progress. ☺ And after a few more weeks, things settle down tremendously and I am grateful that I have listened and followed once again.
Meanwhile, as I’ve been watching this unfold, I see a pattern in my life. I change. Some would say I’m crazy to do this on purpose. But I know that as I consciously promote inner change in the direction of opening to greater good in my life, I will have greater good show up as my life. This is my experience and my spiritual practice. So I change.
But it seems that I change internally before the outside world catches up. This makes sense in the world of physics, when one understands that it is the internal change itself that encourages the “outside-world-changes.”
What I see is that in the midst of these two experiences, I have changed and life hasn’t caught up yet, there can be a feeling of intense conflict. I think we’re conditioned to think that conflict is something to be avoided. But I am inviting us all to question this conditioning!
So I say if you are feeling conflict, notice whether it’s actually a matter of your inner being having transformed or grown in some way and your life still catching up. When we remain patient, the world will come around.
The question for me today is “just how friendly can I become with this feeling of conflict?” When I can sit with it and allow it to be, recognizing it as answered prayer, I believe it allows the world to catch up faster.
Notice any ways your world is catching up to you these days?