One morning recently, I was having a really difficult time emotionally. It’s funny how this works. Now I can’t even recall what was going on…why I was so bummed out. But I was. And it was R-E-A-L to me at the time!
But I managed to get myself out for a morning walk regardless. It was just starting to rain during my walk. I thought this was fitting. It matched my mood. Outside, it was gray and foggy, drizzling and misty. Just like I was feeling inside!
And then I heard them. Birds. Chirping! Right there in the foggy, drizzling rain. Chirping away like it was spring-time!
I had “a moment.” This is what they mean when they say that we can honor our feelings in the moment and, at the same time, notice where there might be something to – well – chirp about.
The birds reminded me that even if it is gray outside, and seems grey inside, I can search (and sometimes I feel like I have to really search) for things to be grateful for. When I’m willing to honestly look for those things, they come tumbling out. It’s like dominoes.
I appreciate being able to be outside, in the winter, walking. I live somewhere that this is possible. And, perhaps most importantly, my body is able to do this! I am grateful to be able to walk, and to be able to do so on trails. This is not as simple as it may seem. Uneven ground is a whole “thang” for the feet, ankles, and brain to navigate.
This makes me aware of the other miracles of my body. Here I am, able to function in so many ways, after many years of drug abuse and other kinds of mistreating my beloved body temple. What a miracle just to be alive!
And there are others, today, whom I love and who love me. They are in my life. I can call them for support. I can pray for them. And they talk to me and tell me the truth, and they are willing to hear mine.
It goes on from there. From the wonderful friends in my life; to my beloved sweetheart, Z; to my family and my spiritual community; to the school I am in; to the funds to be able to be in school at all; to live in a country where, as a woman, I am “allowed” to receive an education; to live in a time when a woman can be a minister and spiritual leader; to live in a time when I can type this on my computer, and make changes in it, and post it on something called the internet; to live in a place with running water; to have drinkable water and plumbing; to live in a home that I love, with heating! – and on and on and on.
This is what the chirping birds reminded me that morning. When I’m right in the middle of feeling terrible, feeling like a loser, feeling very sorry for my self, if I am willing to look, I can find things to be grateful for. Right there, in the rain, I, too, can chirp.
Chirp, little bird. Chirp! ☺