Cracked Open

I’ve experienced it many times after returning home from a workshop or retreat. I used to feel it after coming home after spending a long time in Hawaii.

That quiet, gentle, tender, squishy feeling. Soft and surrendered. Cracked open.

Such a beautiful feeling. Deep and powerful, yet soft and so very, very sweet. I find myself crying at just about anything tender.

And sometimes I get a little scared about going back out into the “regular world.” It seems like the rest of the world doesn’t have the same sensitivity going on at all. And it can feel quite frightening.

And yet, I consistently find that when I remain open, as much as possible, and practice releasing fear over and over, all those regular people respond by softening right back at me! Maybe we’re all just waiting to be met and seen as what we really are beneath the hardened outside persona: cracked open.

I am just back from a week in Hawaii. A week of beautiful, exquisite, excruciating and fabulous completion with what has been my home there with my beloved and soon-to-be-ex-husband, my sweetheart of fourteen years. Fourteen awesome years. Directly from there, literally the next morning, to WomanSpirit for four days of drumming and singing, teaching, and opening with a gathering of amazing women.

And so I re-enter again. I do this as I begin to prepare to head to the Ukraine in just over a week, with a soft and powerful intention to remain fearless, opened and soft. May I remain, today and always, cracked open.

This article was posted on Friday, September 18th, 2009 and is filed
under the category General |