As an addict in recovery, I am aware of my tendency to avoid emotions. And I have dealt with many food addictions. I don’t eat sugar, dairy or gluten because my body doesn’t do well digesting these. Sugar is actually in its own category, way beyond “not digesting it well.” More like “it turns me into a crazy person.” But that’s not what this post is about.
This post is about technology, and how it hurt me. And what’s that got to do with breakfast?
‘Shrink Yourself’ encourages us to explore what aspect of life we believe we are powerless over.
In journaling, I discovered that one of the most triggering for me was technology. I’m not talking about sending email or answering the phone. I’m talking about dealing with any issue that goes awry.
Anyone who works in an office or recording studio (both, in my case) knows that technology glitches are a regular part of life. From software that needs updating to the smallest button wrongly selected, figuring out what’s up with technology is a ongoing challenge.
I knew I didn’t like having to deal with this. But I hadn’t been aware of how far my mind would take it. I hadn’t been aware, until this book, that my thinking would leap from “I don’t like it” to “I’m not going to be able to do it” to “it is evidence that I am stupid, incompetent, and don’t deserve to be alive.” Seriously. This was going through my brain, without my awareness, every time something would not work!
Intense, right? And who wouldn’t want to run from that kind of abuse?
It just so happens that the place I was running to was the kitchen. In doing this, I would avoid dealing with whatever wasn’t working. Shockingly, this didn’t fix it! I would, inevitably, run into the issue again. And then run to the kitchen. None of this was helping me get things done. Nor was it supporting me in my health!
When I decided not to “eat over it,” I started to notice something. I am not stupid! I am not incompetent. And while I am not a professional computer technologist, I can figure many things out.
You know what else? If I can’t figure it out, I can call someone who can help me!
If food is your go-to avoidance substance, I highly recommend this book. He also has an online program. Good stuff.
But whatever you run to, I highly recommend the spiritual practice of staying put. Just try it. I promise that facing the voices in your mind with awareness and inquiry will change everything!
If we are feeling bad, we are telling our self a story that is not true. When we find the story, and see the lie in it, it can completely transform our experience. It can be life-changing!
What do you tend to run from? Where do you run? What are you telling yourself? What’s the truth about it?