Around November of last year, I made a clear and powerful intention for myself. To heal and transform the experience of chaos and drama in my relationships with time and money. Magic. It is happening! It has been so fabulous to watch this new life, this new me showing up.
I have made some difficult choices since making that declaration. For instance, I let go of the plan to start ministerial training last quarter. I may or may not start it at some later time, when it might be he right thing for this new life I am living. I think that time will come, but I am not attached to it any more.
The other day I heard myself say something. Then I was shocked to have said it.
I was talking with my prayer partner. My little alarm went off on my calendar device, to notify me of my next activity. We were both quite amazed that an hour had passed and we had not prayer yet!
I said, “I have to go.
She said, “…not even a laser prayer?”
And I heard myself say, “Not if I wanna’ be happy.”
What a powerful and simple phrase for me. In the past I would have stayed, ignored my next planned activity which was my taking care of myself. Our intention had been to pray. But our time had been so rich and beautiful already, and it was time for me to go. I know because I had said so before being there.
The adult in me made the choice in that moment. I realized that, in the past, my child would have chosen. She’s pure and sweet and adorable. But the bottom line is that if she is always in charge, I will not be happy! And I am finding that I just love being more deeply and truly happy!