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Stop believing yourself! A Toltec tool for happiness.

don Miguel Ruiz and Melissa Phillippe

All of us want happiness. What we may not realize is that no matter what we’re feeling, happiness is available to us at any given moment!

All we have to do is stop believing ourselves.

We’ve got to stop telling the same story in our head! Here’s my journey in this practice. I hope it serves you on yours.

Putting the Four Agreements to work

After working with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements and co-author of The Fifth Agreement, for over 10 years and continuing to practice the Toltec path, I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I changed my beliefs, and my life changed.

At the beginning of my apprenticeship with don Miguel, he said we only had to agree to three things in order to work with him.

  1. Don’t believe anything anyone else ever told us. (“Okay,” I thought. “I bet I can do that.”)
  2. Don’t believe anything HE told us. (Now this was a little more challenging! I had just signed up to study with him!)
  3. Don’t believe anything you tell yourself. (“Okay,” I thought. “I guess I’ll just go home now.”)

Thank goodness, it turns out that he wanted us to practice not believing our minds, and he knows that practice makes the master.

How do you stop believing yourself?

Here’s one of the first things I found as I tried to do this. I would realize that I was believing my thoughts and then I would tell myself I was sucking at this. My solution? I would practice not believing THAT thought!

There is a practice I love that my ex David and I got into when we were working with don Miguel. At any moment, with any thought or comment, we would simply follow it by saying “or not.” This is a fabulous way to remember that what we say is just what we say. It doesn’t mean anything unless we say so, or believe so.

Here are all five of don Miguel Ruiz’s agreements:

  1. Be impeccable with your word. (This includes the word in your head – the way you talk to yourself.)
  2. Don’t take anything personally. (Good luck with this one. This is the hardest one for me!)
  3. Don’t make assumptions. (Bottom line: don’t assume anything. Ever.)
  4. Always do your best. (Have compassion for yourself on this one. In challenging times, we need give ourselves a break. Be nice to you.)
  5. Be skeptical, but learn to listen. (With practice, you can learn to hear what people really mean when they speak. And you can learn to hear the truth from your own mind.)

Here’s your happiness homework.

Any of these agreements will lead you straight to happiness! Truly! Take one a day and try it on. Do your best with that one agreement for that day. Leave comments below and tell us how you’re doing!

(Life is going to go by anyway – so we might as well see how well we can master the happiness available in it!)

I am teaching Five Agreements workshops in August and September so check out my calendar.


4 Responses to “Stop believing yourself! A Toltec tool for happiness.”

  1. Mary Murray Shelton
    August 18, 2010 at 23:56

    Great spiritual tools and so well articulated for practice here, Melissa!

  2. Melissa Phillippe
    August 31, 2010 at 19:11

    Thank you, Mary! Coming from you, I take that as very high praise indeed.

  3. Dieter Pauwels
    September 4, 2010 at 20:41

    Thank you Melissa for bringing this book to the attention of all your readers. I would recommend this book to everyone. The Four Agreements advocates personal freedom from erroneous beliefs that we have made with ourselves that are creating limitation and unhappiness in our lives. Ultimately, this book is about finding one’s own integrity, inner peace and a deeper sense of personal fulfillment. Get your copy today!

  4. Melissa Phillippe
    September 7, 2010 at 03:42

    Yes – The Fifth Agreement is also wonderful!

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